Terri: 0:00

But you're my bestie for life. Yeah you, you're the family of two. Yeah, you BFFs till the end. We can get through this together, but you're my bestie for life. Welcome back everyone, sandy here, hey Sandy. Hi, terri, how are you? We're talking over each other. We're so excited to talk again. Yay, things are great. Excited to talk again.

Sandi: 0:26

Yay, things are great Things are great Things are great. Well, it's nice. I mean, summer is starting to get here, so I'm very happy about that. Yes, so the warmer the weather, the happier I get.

Terri: 0:36

Oh, me too. Me too, although I do love a good fall evening with a fire, I know.

Sandi: 0:46

Yeah, but we good fall evening with a fire. I know We've had enough cool nights.

Terri: 0:48

I have the Jeep, I want the Jeep open and I want to go. We did this weekend. We did. We did this weekend. We were hanging out in the Jeep and we're looking for new roads.

Sandi: 0:55

We are looking for new roads. Yes, it was so much fun. I mean I love it and how about last episode.

Terri: 1:01

That was kind of fun to reminiscing about our 20s, 30s and 40s. I know.

Sandi: 1:06

I know, and then we, we, you know, as we talked about Saturday when we were together, like we missed a couple of things that we talked- about in our 20s.

Terri: 1:14

We have to save some of the content for later.

Sandi: 1:16

We can't tell everybody all of our secrets at once.

Terri: 1:19

Not yet. I mean we still have many, many more episodes to go. I know, I know I'm excited about. I mean we still have many, many, more episodes to go. I know, I know Well yeah, I'm excited about this week, though this week we're talking about. We're getting real, though. We're getting real this week because we're going to talk about our flaws, right. So flawed and fabulous, we are flawed and fabulous, you guys? Oh, we are. I mean, we have to embrace the you know the imperfections, so the you know the imperfections.

Sandi: 1:46

So we're going to talk about that today. What do you think about that, Terri? Well, I think it's great. I, you know, I have said again to people who've asked you know, oh my God, you've changed so much physically. Why, like, how Blah, blah, blah, like, and, and it's you know more, like, what are you changing with your diet? And yes, I've changed stuff, but it's more. I tell people, it's more the flip in my head. Um, accepting that, you know, I am going to have a bad day, and not beating myself up over it, I'm going to be imperfect, imperfect. And is that? Is that right?

Terri: 2:17

Yeah.

Sandi: 2:19

And um and like I don't know, it took me 54 years to like come to that conclusion. So I love this episode for this I do too.

Terri: 2:29

I do too. I'm ready to like just tell you all the things I know that are wrong with me. No, I'm just kidding, no, but also this is a reminder right that perfection is overrated.

Sandi: 2:39

Perfection is overrated. I mean it's completely overrated, because nobody's going to be perfect, you're nobody's. It's impossible, it's impossible. Yeah, you can't make everybody happy, and you're. You're going to try to be perfect to make everybody happy? No, and then you end up miserable.

Terri: 2:54

I agree, I agree. I think it's really important that we have an honest conversation about it, because even in past episodes we talked about like oh I'm, you know, making fun of ourselves or I'm my own worst critic, and blah, blah, blah. I don't want to go too far ahead because we'll go down the list, but I do think that there's health in that, like it is healthy to do it, but in a more positive way, as long as you can reframe it and make something of it and not sit in the negativity of it all, which, honestly, I have my days right.

Sandi: 3:28

Well, everybody's going to have their day, aren't you? You know, my mom used to tell us growing up and whatnot have your day, have your moment, but then get off your ass, put your big girl pants on and go. So I've always had that in my head. But I mean, we're all going to have our days and we can't beat ourselves up over our days, right? I agree, I want to extend it too long.

Terri: 3:51

I agree, I agree. So why don't we jump in? What do?

Sandi: 3:53

you all right, let's jump. Let's talk about some. Let's talk about flaws.

Terri: 3:57

Yeah, let's talk about flaws. So what are the? So what do you think, terry, are the most common flaws that women experience, like beauty? Yeah, for sure.

Sandi: 4:10

I mean, let's just start right there, Like you and I are. You know, we were born in 70, right, right. And so what was in that year? What is that very thin model, twiggy?

Terri: 4:24

Twiggy yeah.

Sandi: 4:26

Twiggy, twiggy, and then Farrah Fawcett. Everybody was like a size zero minus zero. So growing up you had to be thin, and if you weren't thin you were not good. So, beauty stuff and I love the fact that it's not like that now Like it's taken so many years to finally come around to that.

Terri: 4:48

Yeah, the curvy girl Well.

Sandi: 4:50

I'm finally in at 54.

Terri: 4:52

I am finally fucking in and uh.

Sandi: 4:56

I'm happy about that. You know, and even again, you know, losing weight like I don't plan on. You know I've said I'm not going down. When you Google, you know what's the ideal weight for a woman five, five, 54 years old. I'm never going to be that weight and I don't care. You know. Um, I will always be curvy.

Terri: 5:16

You know I'm always going to have an ass, so it's just not as big, I do think, as we get older too. I mean, it's not just about the shape of our bodies, it's also about our faces, our wrinkles, our jowls, you know our food drops and I understand the people wanting to do things to make that, to combat that Right, um, but we should also. Not everybody can afford it.

Terri: 5:48

Number one no, no me, I'm one of them, um, but also you know, if we reframe it, and that big, the big thing on my forehead, the big wrinkle on the middle of my forehead is just an expression. Nine it has, it builds character, it has a lot of character.

Sandi: 6:07

Oh my gosh, Sandy, it's so funny that you bring up the forehead, because mine go horizontal. I've got my horizontal lines right and I call them my what the fuck lines because, I'm always like that's what I'm looking at people, like what the fuck is going on, and then I get my wrinkles there and, man, are they deep because I make that face a lot.

Terri: 6:29

So mine is right down the middle between my eyebrows and it is literally like what the fuck did you say Exactly? That's that line. It's the are you fucking kidding me? Line.

Sandi: 6:40

Right, exactly, exactly See, and I mean you and I are just like it is like we're just going to say it, so we're going to run with it.

Terri: 6:54

We can't even hide it from our faces anymore. Now I know we might have another an episode about skincare and blah, blah, blah later in the future. But I'm going to tell you I I I don't necessarily want to do Botox, but I've tried the microneedling. I think you told me to do the microneedling how did it go. I kind of like it. It is actually helping because the hydrochloric acid it gets in there. It gets in there A little bit, but there are things you can do without surgery, ladies, or injections.

Sandi: 7:24

Yes, yes, there are, and I again, I have a background in the beauty industry as well and um, the Nivea cream. Every esthetician's like get your can of Nivea cream, it's actually the best Like, and you can get it off of Amazon.

Terri: 7:42

It's the giant tin of Nivea cream from Germany and I like, I've always used it and it's you know I get all my best advice from you when it comes to the product, so at some point we're going to share that with our community.

Sandi: 7:55

I'm just saying you know, maybe um cause here in Chicago, we're in Chicago area and, uh, the beauty show comes here every like April or whatever. We should do a live show from the beauty show and talk about the products and everything.

Terri: 8:10

That's what we're going to do. That would be fun. Yeah, let's do it next April.

Sandi: 8:13

Yes, I think that would be a lot of fun, but other things, let's go.

Terri: 8:18

More common, like not just physical flaws, right, but like we talked about some of these before, but like putting yourself first, not putting yourself first, thinking you're going to take care of everybody but yourself, that does you no favors. It does not Difficulty saying no.

Sandi: 8:36

No.

Terri: 8:37

We talked about that before too and then like negative self-talk, which.

Sandi: 8:42

Yes, I am, I know I'm terrible about it. Like you know, anything that goes wrong, I instantly like okay, what did I do wrong? Yeah, how did I screw it up? What did I do wrong? You know, and as I've done this past week, I over fucking think everything, as you know about things going on and me talking to you this past week. Like I over, fucking think about everything and I'm like I, I I've done it wrong. Like I, I screwed something up, I've done something wrong and uh, I, I gotta stop that.

Terri: 9:16

Yeah, no, I hear you. I think it's an easy thing to do and I think a lot of people do it for me.

Sandi: 9:23

Yes, yes, um, but but some other things like resisting asking for help. Yes, there's another one of my flaws Yep, me too. I'm so independent I've got to do it myself. Guilt over enjoying life. Difficulty, trusting their own voice I'm going to pat myself on the back on that. I've gotten a little bit better at that, trusting my own voice. Fear of starting over. Um, you know, avoiding vulnerability. You don't want to. You know, look stupid, I don't want anybody to think I'm vulnerable.

Terri: 9:56

I just it's just not in me and I it's not like I wish there was. I wish I could change that. You know what I mean. But but even asking for help, I have to tell you just a short story. I was home I work from home and I was home and my doctor, I've been battling an infection which we won't talk about. We won't talk about it, it's all to my own doing, all right, so anyway.

Terri: 10:21

So my doctor, prescribed me an antibiotic and I need to start taking it immediately. And my daughter's got my car. Nobody else's home, so I called my mom and dad and they literally like, picked me up, drove me to the pharmacy. When I got in the car, my dad was like well, we could have just gone to the pharmacy for you. You know what I mean. It was like the middle of the day, anyway, and as soon as I got in the car I said see, I asked for help, because I know that's an issue of mine.

Terri: 10:58

I mean, yeah, and I remember saying to my mother, like a couple of weeks ago, well, if I need help, I'll just ask. And she goes, no, you won't. And so I did it. And so as soon as I got in the car I was like, see, I ask for help.

Sandi: 11:11

Yeah, yeah, I know, but it's hard, yeah, you know, and I don't know that it's out of pride that I I don't think it's out of pride that I don't ask for help. I just I don't know. I just don't want to feel like I'm bothering somebody else.

Terri: 11:27

I was just going to say that I think it's more about burdening somebody else.

Sandi: 11:31

Yes.

Terri: 11:31

Ugh, she's so needy.

Sandi: 11:33

Right, yes, I mean, I think that would crush me if somebody said and honestly, my ex, in our tormentual, where we would not get along if I'm like, oh, hey, know, tormentual like where we would not get along, I like, if I'm like, oh hey, I need help with this, I mean he would, he would treat me as if I was needy then and it would feel like, okay, I can't ask for help because this is what people see of me, you know, and um it, I think that's like I. I never want to seem needy, like I'm just, like no, I can, like I will go down trying, like I don't care. There's one of my other flaws, I and I have switched my mindset on it. People, stubborn, I can be, you know, stubborn. And my mom's, my mom, would always say, oh, you're so stubborn, but I have learned to call it I'm very determined, I'm a determined person and my determination, it's my determination, I'm not stubborn, I'm determined, I'm not stubborn.

Terri: 12:34

I'm passionate.

Sandi: 12:36

Oh, that's a good one too.

Terri: 12:41

So we're supposed to be embracing our flaws. So stubborn is a flaw for both of us. So like, if you reframe that, that you're determined and I'm passionate, like it's just a more positive way of looking at it. It is what we're talking about today.

Sandi: 12:53

Right, right, no, it totally is, Like you know. But yes, and I always say that, because my son is just like me and he's determined, all right, he's very determined. I love it.

Terri: 13:07

I love it Well, and another big one is perfectionism, which you talked about a little bit with Penny, even right when he had Penny on, and she was talking about, like you know you, you can't go into anything and expect success and perfection, because then you're just setting yourself up for failure. You are you are.

Sandi: 13:28

I would have to say in my younger years that was a flaw of mine, trying to be perfect and trying to get everything done perfectly, and no, it had to be like this because then it would be perfect. Unfortunately, the reason that stopped completely in my life is when my mom passed away, Because no matter how perfect I was, all of a sudden she was gone, and so you know, you're not going to be perfect and you just have to embrace that. And I mean, it took a big thing like that a death of you know, the death of my mom for me to realize that. And so if I could help anybody help get over that without such a dramatic reason, I would love to be able to, because you really can't try to be perfect, you just can't.

Terri: 14:21

Right it actually, if you try, you're going to fail, right Right, if you fail, it actually lowers your self-esteem, right? So like it actually does the opposite of what you're trying to achieve.

Sandi: 14:34

Right, I mean, it's just a horrible circle, right? Like you're just going round and round and you know, like the hamster wheel and you're killing yourself in it. Right, trying to be perfect and and listen, like if you're perfect and you're not making mistakes, then you're not learning either. Right, agreed, you have to make mistakes in order to learn, and so I have learned that you know making mistakes along the way, and I'm not talking about you know, you know better, but you're still going to do it wrong, or you're still going to do it, you know. You know not those mistakes, but the mistakes of trying something new and not getting it right. Right, instead of beating yourself up over it, you take it and you learn from it, and to keep going and to build on it. That is, I think, the most important thing to do, right.

Terri: 15:28

I agree, I agree and I do think like if you have the mindset where you can, you're continually learning, no matter what the subject is. You're never going to be perfect. You're never going to be satisfied because there's always more to learn. There's always a new thing to learn, a new way of doing things.

Sandi: 15:45

And.

Terri: 15:45

I just think, like if you can have that mindset, I think it matters, you know.

Sandi: 15:50

Oh, I do too.

Terri: 15:57

Now I have been accused of pretending to be perfect by certain people in my life and I've never professed myself as that. I just think that there's a difference between confidence and perfection and I think I try to see life in a confident way. And I think I try to see life in a confident way Like, or I try to at least build myself up when I'm not feeling perfect, and I think sometimes that could come across wrong to others.

Sandi: 16:23

Well, no, I agree too, because I too have been accused of the same thing you are talking about, and I think it's more. I have always tried to keep a positive attitude. Honestly, I do it more for me because-.

Terri: 16:37

Right, it's not for anybody, but myself, right?

Sandi: 16:40

I mean because, honestly, if some of the things that have gone on in my life, like if I didn't try to keep a positive attitude, I don't know if I'd be sitting here like to be honest, you know. But you know people, certain people have taken that as me being. You know, oh, you just have to be perfect and you have to. No, I'm just trying to look at things positively and I'm trying to learn, and I think anybody that doesn't, who's like oh, I've learned enough, or I know enough about that, this, that and the other, I don't care if you're an expert in it, you always need to learn something more, because the second you stop doing that, I think you become boring and you become, you know, like you should always be learning something.

Terri: 17:23

I agree A hundred percent. Yeah, a hundred percent For sure, for sure. So yeah, 100% For sure, for sure. So personal reflections. So let's talk about things that you know what flaws we've struggled with, right, or struggled to accept.

Sandi: 17:49

We've talked about some of them, but is see, I'm trying to think God, there's so many, I just don't know what to choose from I was just like which one do I say?

Sandi: 18:01

Which one do I say? Well, I mean the flaws. I'm just going to go back to, like, my weight loss, right, um, and I people are probably tired of me talking about it, but it's a big deal for me because I'm at a size right now that I have never been my entire life and I'm only this way again because the, the, the switch in my head, the mental adjustment in my head, um, I, my flaw was always beating myself up, always looking at myself as being the bad one, the ugly one, the not so smart one, you know whatever. And I literally I mean when I say I beat myself up, I beat myself up and and that was mostly because of the situation in the that I was in and I was not happy in that situation at all.

Sandi: 18:53

And I was being told those things by others and I was starting to believe it. So the flaw is beating myself up over and now with this weight loss again. First of all, doing it just for me, I'm not doing it for anybody else, um and whatnot, and uh and it, the weight has come off easier and I'm not beating myself up anymore, like I. You know, we went out Saturday to a party, right I those flipping fucking peanut butter M&Ms.

Terri: 19:29

I'm like, oh my God, by the way, I ate all of them. No, I think I had half the bowl.

Sandi: 19:36

And um, but I did not go home that night, beating myself up the next day. I just like, okay, got a knuckle down today and I, you know, and I went right back into my routine of how I'm eating healthier and um, I didn't. I didn't be like before. I would literally be like, oh, you fucking screwed up, and now I'm going to eat to compensate my feelings of fucking up. You know so and I'm not doing that. So that's me overcoming that.

Terri: 20:06

I absolutely love that so much and, by the way, you were never ugly Come on Um the uh one of mine, I would say, is it was pertaining to motherhood, right? So, like in my thirties and I think we talked about this a little bit last episode is your thirties are so hard? Right, cause you're trying to like build a career and also build a family, right, I tried so hard to juggle and to be really great at my career and also a really good mom, and that was impossible because, with late nights working or traveling for work, I inevitably missed things.

Terri: 20:47

I inevitably missed. Well, of course, I didn't go to parent teacher conferences. Luckily I had a partner that could and he did. He went to the parent teacher conferences, he was the room parent and all of that, but I felt like shit, right, I felt like a terrible mother. You know what I mean, and I beat myself up about it. So I ended up. The way that I kind of stopped looking at it in such a negative way is I actually started therapy. That's good, I mean, because my therapist, you know, helped me focus on work-life balance and like realistic expectations of myself. And I think we all have to be reminded not just as women, just as people right Need to be reminded that, like, if you have an unrealistic expectation of yourself, you're never going to be satisfied, you're never going to be happy with yourself and it's just a hole that you don't want to go down.

Sandi: 21:54

You know, you don't you don't, and you know. I just think that in order to help get yourself out of it and all of that, you need to turn off the outside chatter. Yeah, Like you need to stop listening, you know? I mean, social media is good in a certain sense, but in another sense it's horrible.

Sandi: 22:16

Right, because, yeah, you can't compare yourself to other people, you compare yourself to other people, or you're listening to what other people are saying about you or about you know whatever, and you you just got to turn it off, like, and you can't. You have to turn off the noise from other people. So one of my favorite bands is Zac Brown Band.

Terri: 22:38

Yeah, I think I've heard you mention that before. Yeah, I love Zac Brown Band.

Sandi: 22:43

And hashtag Zac Brown Band we're going to hashtag this one and I want to see if I can let's get him on, but he just came out with a new song and, Sandy, I love the song and I listened to it on repeat since it's been out, but the first um uh set of lyrics it's people keep trying to tell me how to live and I'm just over here running out of fucks to give. I ain't worried about it.

Sandi: 23:13

I have bonded with this song in, so many ways, because that's basically it and that's what I was just talking about. You have to shut off all of the negativity and, let's face it, there is so much negativity bouncing off of everything in the world today.

Terri: 23:31

Well, it's not, yeah, it's not just your inner circle anymore, like you can turn on the news and see just the mess, exactly.

Sandi: 23:38

Exactly, and you know, and and again. Going back to the song really quick, like it goes on to say you know, throughout all of the negative that's out there, life is really just what you make of it, and so what do you? You know? Again, it goes back to what do you want in life and just focus on that and like these flaws, like you've said, like turn them, let's turn them around into positive attributes that can help you get to what you want.

Terri: 24:08

Right, yes, yes, absolutely, absolutely.

Sandi: 24:11

There's my song lyric I love that I might have to start listening to this. Oh well, I will send you I will send that to you.

Terri: 24:20

What's the name of the song? For the audience too.

Sandi: 24:21

I Ain't Worried About it. By.

Terri: 24:22

Zac Brown Band. I Ain't Worried About it, okay, I.

Sandi: 24:26

Ain't Worried About it. It can sound country, it's a little known fact or a little big fact. I mean it's been out there when they started. I mean they have a lot of it's a lot of it sounding islandish or whatever. But they had to choose a genre and he only chose country because he knew more people. He would get it out faster because the other genres because when you start putting it out on Spotify, like even when we put this out, you know we had to pick the category, what it goes under, and I'm like, well, okay, it can go under this, it can go under that, it can go under this. And so he picked country, because you know, and he's from Georgia or whatever. So he picked country because he he thought that it would go out, his music would get out faster and it did.

Terri: 25:10

It took off.

Sandi: 25:13

Yes, so it is listed under country. It's his guitar playing, whatever, but I love the song. Love the song Because that's you know, I don't have any more fucks to give.

Terri: 25:28

You don't? I did do a little bit of research about, uh, self-acceptance, done a lot like just a few bullet points, and I thought it. These were kind of interesting bullet points. So, um, according to a 2022 study published in self and identity, self-compassion not self-criticism is strongly associated with higher self-esteem and emotional resilience. I agree.

Sandi: 25:58

We've talked about giving ourselves grace right.

Terri: 26:00

Yes, of course, Of course. And then a Harvard Health report noted that perfectionism is linked to anxiety, depression and burnout, especially in women. Goes back to what you're saying on unrealistic expectations. You're going to be burnt out trying to hit those thresholds.

Sandi: 26:17

Right, I did have, for the first time in my life, going through towards the end of my marriage and dealing with all of that and trying to be perfect and trying to make it work and trying, trying, trying Because we had a younger kid the kids were younger at the time and I remember going to Target and to get stuff and I'm fine, I go into Target and everything, and I'm on the escalator going. I don't know whether it was going up or down, I don't remember and all of a sudden I thought I was having a heart attack. I could not breathe.

Sandi: 26:49

I couldn't take deep breaths and I ended up in the hospital and they I mean, they ran a gamut of you know tests, but at the end of the day they were like you had an anxiety attack. Have you ever had an anxiety attack? I'm like no, I'm like, oh my gosh, and and when I get myself all stressed out, that's what happens, you know and it's not worth it.

Terri: 27:12

It's so not worth it. It really isn't, especially if you feel like you're having a heart attack. That's the scariest thing ever. You know which?

Sandi: 27:18

I think that happens, you know, because I know some other women who have it because I've talked about it and they're like, oh yeah, that's happened to me and that's exactly what it feels like, you know.

Terri: 27:37

That's horrible. It's horrible. Yeah, it definitely is, definitely is. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Um, and then the last point was the university of Texas, uh, did some research showing that practicing self-kindness improves wellbeing more than chasing high self-esteem through achievements or appearances.

Sandi: 27:45

So basically, just be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, right yeah, Before you start giving grace everywhere else.

Terri: 27:54

You know it's so funny when you when you look at them, you read those things, you're like, okay, well, that all makes sense, it's like common sense. But when you're going through it and you're like yeah, you can't like. I mean, you know, your mind doesn't work.

Sandi: 28:08

No, my mind is overthinking everything.

Terri: 28:11

Everything I know.

Sandi: 28:12

I know You've got to give yourself grace on the overthinking too, I know, I know, but I also need to stop doing it.

Terri: 28:19

So we talked about positive practices and you said it earlier, terry. So I'm just going to tell you the first one and then I'll let you take the rest. But the name it and reframe it right. When you catch yourself self-criticizing, you flip it, flip it. Into a strength or a lesson. Yes, I'm very determined, I'm a very, very determined person and I'm very passionate.

Sandi: 28:43

So some others are mirror talk, one minute a day. Affirmations in the mirror. It says do it, even if you know you feel silly. And that's where I don't do it, because I'm like this is stupid. You are great, you are. It reminds me of that SNL, oh yeah.

Terri: 29:05

Yeah, and you and people like you. Is that the end of it?

Sandi: 29:09

People like yeah people like you Like every time, I mean. And people like, yeah, people like you Like every time, I mean I've tried it, you know, and a lot of people do it. And yes, I have to get over the feeling silly at first kind of stuff and feeling you know awkward about it and just do it. But that's SNL comes into my like all of us, all of us who are in the seventies and eighties, watch Saturday Night Live, which was the best years of Saturday Night Live by the way.

Sandi: 29:33

Some others, we do. Gratitude for the Messy Middle, acknowledging what your Flaws Are, have taught you and you know resilience empathy. You know grit, like look at the positives in those negatives, Like, what are you learning from these? You know, Um, I also do think.

Terri: 29:55

Sorry, I didn't interrupt you, but I also do think like when you've gone through it and you've kind of like embraced your flaws and you hear somebody else doing the same thing to themselves, it's easier for you to share, you know what I mean Like that's when you have empathy for them, because you're like, oh, I've been there, like right, let's all have. Give ourselves grace, but also give each other grace.

Sandi: 30:17

You know what I mean, absolutely you know I, especially with my friends, like today I was with a friend and we were talking and, um, like he said something and it was like a negative towards himself and I'm like wait, no, like, no, like that's not, you know, that's not you Like, like I just I don't want that, like I.

Terri: 30:37

Just let's look at this positively you know, and yeah, I just think we're all prone to do it.

Sandi: 30:43

You know what I mean. We're all prone to do it.

Terri: 30:45

So we just have to support each other in that, absolutely. We are all prone to do it, so we just have to support each other in that.

Sandi: 30:48

Absolutely Joyful Rebellion. Do something imperfect on purpose Sing badly, wear the bold lipstick, post an unfiltered selfie Anybody?

Terri: 31:02

who is following?

Sandi: 31:02

our TikTok and Instagram and Facebook. We just posted an unfiltered video. I mean, video is a big thing for me, right, and no filters on it, and yeah so.

Terri: 31:15

I do those things. I know I kind of love that we did that and also I am. This is not my thing, it's not your thing either. So it did speak volumes that we were able to do that.

Sandi: 31:29

It does. I mean, it is, you know, okay, and I'm going to say this because now we're going to have to do it, sandy, oh shit, oh shit.

Terri: 31:41

Well before I know what you're going to say.

Sandi: 31:44

Yes, I'm going to make sure we do it. I mean so we're going to do a little live. You know, check in on TikTok and on Instagram on Sunday, because we're getting together on Sunday unfiltered, just checking in with everybody listeners. So you know, keep an eye out. I would say it's probably around the 7 o'clock hour-ish, central time, central time, chicago time, and we'll check in on what we're doing that day and uh and live and we're going to go live. No filters, nothing, no nets.

Terri: 32:20

We're going no, no, no net, we're just going to jump off and no net jumping off. No, net, okay, jumping off no net, okay, um, let's do it like a joyful rebellion. Um no filters. So yeah, everybody. Oh no, this is probably gonna air two days after we do this, we do the live, oh man, because we need time to edit.

Sandi: 32:51

Okay, I didn't think about that. All right, well, we'll do another one.

Terri: 32:57

Just keep an eye on our TikTok and our Instagram and like this.

Sandi: 33:01

We're going to pop in all the time.

Terri: 33:03

We're going to pop in and out. We're going to try to do more live videos. We are, we are. I didn't even think about that. Dang it, I know. Dang it, I know.

Sandi: 33:12

All right. Well, let's go to your turn. Let's just get off of us now, all right.

Terri: 33:17

Do you?

Sandi: 33:17

want to do last week? Yeah, I will do it, since I already screwed up the Joyful Rebellion. No, you did great. Last week. We asked people what's one lesson you wish you could go back and tell your younger self? There's so much I would love to tell my younger self.

Terri: 33:34

No kidding.

Sandi: 33:35

But we did receive from Kennedy, she wrote. I'd tell my younger self to stop losing sleep over every small mistake. Most of it didn't matter as much as I thought it did. Life feels a lot lighter when you stop making every bump in the road a mountain. How true is that?

Terri: 33:53

I love that and you know, when we talked last week and we were talking about our twenties, everything was a mountain. In our twenties, Everything is a mountain right, did you? Hear what this girl said about me, and it was a mountain. And now I'm like Because she didn't?

Sandi: 34:07

like my hair who?

Terri: 34:08

was that girl again, and now I'm like, because she didn't like my hair, yeah, so dumb, so dumb, yeah. But yeah, I love that. I love that comment, kennedy. Thank you for sending it.

Sandi: 34:18

Yes. So next week or this? This week's question that we're going to ask you is what is one flaw you've learned to embrace, and how has that changed your life? I want to hear from people.

Terri: 34:32

I know let's get some response, you guys, we want to hear from you.

Sandi: 34:37

Yes, absolutely All right. Well, you're going to do the challenge this week.

Terri: 34:41

So I never do the challenge you never do that, I know.

Terri: 34:44

I'm going to steal Terry's job Just for today. We have a challenge. We are calling it the perfectly imperfect challenge, and what we want you to do and this is just for you and nobody else we want you to write down three flaws you've been ashamed of and then, next to each one, write that flaw, how that flaw has served you or shaped you. I think you'll do a little soul searching and you'll find that you know this flaw is probably what makes you unique and special and awesome.

Sandi: 35:19

Right, I think that's great.

Terri: 35:21

Yeah, absolutely. Do you want to do the rule of the week, terry? Of course I mean, I got to do something, all right.

Sandi: 35:28

Rule of the week. Our rule this week is you don't have to be flawless to be powerful. The real glow up comes from embracing what makes you feel real.

Terri: 35:39

And.

Sandi: 35:39

I can't agree with that more. I love that I haven't felt this good about myself in a long time. So, and it's just about me, embracing me.

Terri: 35:50

You have a lot to be proud of.

Sandi: 35:53

And we do too. Well, I have a lot of attention on myself. No, but it is true.

Terri: 36:02

Like that's. The other thing I just want to say is, like you know, you've worked really hard, Terry, at your weight loss and you're getting healthy and you're doing it all for you, and I'm sure part of our audience have stories like that, and I just want to say that everybody should be very proud Anytime you take the smallest step towards your end goal. It could be a small step, a big step, but even the smallest step should be celebrated.

Sandi: 36:36

It should. I mean, it took a lot of baby steps to get to where I'm at now and those baby steps should all be applauded. You know, and you know, when I would lose like a couple pounds I'd be like yay, you know, like, but in the gist of things at the time, two pounds was like nothing but, every week it added up, and added up, and added up. So you should celebrate the simple, the little ones, just as much as the big ones.

Terri: 36:56

Absolutely, absolutely. So big takeaways here are. Let's just embrace our flaws, you guys like. Just let's turn them into a positive um. No more self-harm, not self-harm, that's not what I wanted to say. Negative self-talk is what I meant to say. Absolutely no self-harm either. But I just, you know, I think that there is a positive way to do that, to kind of embrace our flaws, and we're here for you, even if you just want to send us a quick note and ask.

Sandi: 37:31

You know, ask or even if you want to talk like I mean, I just want to share, and if you want to share you don't want us to say anything about your share?

Terri: 37:41

We don't have to.

Sandi: 37:42

So no, no, absolutely not.

Terri: 37:44

We just want you as part of our community.

Sandi: 37:46

Exactly so, speaking of that teasing next week's episode, what people might not know, Sandy, next week's episode is our last episode of season one. Can you believe?

Terri: 37:59

it. I cannot believe it. That's episode 12, right, episode 12.

Sandi: 38:03

We're going to do 12 episodes a season, our season one finale, our season one finale. I mean, it's gone by so quickly, um, and so we're going to just kind of go over like our first season and whatnot. But I do want to tease a little. We are going to take a break, um, for the fourth of july week, I believe it is. Um, we're going to take one week off, you know where. We're not going to have a new episode out, just one week. But then we're going to have come back with season two and some new things. I'm not going to say what they are but I'm so excited.

Terri: 38:37

I know I'm so excited, but I also want to encourage and we're going to do this in the finale, I'm sure but I also want to encourage feedback, right, Because we want to hear from you on what you guys want to hear about. We've gotten some loyal listeners, which I'm very excited about.

Sandi: 38:55

I love what people have said written to us via text, via message, whatever about the episodes and, by the way, I have heard nothing but how funny. Episode nine the dating episode.

Terri: 39:08

I told you I was going to bring up the dating episode.

Sandi: 39:10

The dating episode was.

Terri: 39:12

We'll recap that in the finale. Yeah, I mean yeah.

Sandi: 39:19

Hysterical.

Terri: 39:20

Yeah.

Sandi: 39:22

Hysterical. Yes, oh, we'll do another episode on that next season.

Terri: 39:26

Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure we're going to do more on dating. I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg. Just the tip.

Sandi: 39:35

Oh my God, All right, stop, stop.

Terri: 39:41

I know, I know Well.

Sandi: 39:43

I just like everybody to remember every road leads somewhere new.

Terri: 39:48

And the best part, we get to make the rules.

Sandi: 39:51

See you next time on New Road, new Rules. Bye, but you're my bestie for life.

Terri: 39:56

Yeah you, we're the family of two. Yeah you, the end of that's still the end. We can get through this together. But you're my bestie for life. Yeah, you, we're the family of two. Yeah you, we are best till the end. We can get through this together.